Life Giving Relationships
A few years ago,
Adelina Dominguez died in San Diego. Now, what made her death noteworthy is
that according to the Guinness Book of Records, she was the oldest living
American at the time of her death. At 114 years of age, she outlived all of her
children and some of her grandchildren.
When she was asked the secret of her longevity, Associated Press reports
she gave all the credit to God and to His plan and purpose for her life, quote,
"I knew God had a purpose for my life."
Last week, we looked at His first purpose, Dynamic Worship &
Prayer which is to know Him and to love Him.
When we give God our attention—that’s loving Him with our mind; when we
give Him our affection—that’s loving Him with our soul and with our heart; and
when we give God our abilities—that’s loving Him with our strength. The Bible
calls that worship because you were planned for God's pleasure. And today,
we're going to look at the second purpose of your life, which is, life giving relationships. God didn’t
design us to fly solo through life but to be a part of His family.
Notice this
verse at the top of your outline, (Hebrews 2:10) For it was fitting for Him, for whom
are all things and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to
make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings. (NKJV)
The New
Century Version says, “He wanted to have many children share His glory.”
God wanted a family. That's
why we're here. He wanted children. And the Bible says He planned everything in
the entire universe so we could be born, so we could share in His glory, so we
could be part of His family.
Look at the
next verse. (Ephesians 1:5) having predestined us to adoption as sons by
Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, (NKJV)
“His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family by
bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ." (Eph. 1:5 NLT)
The entire Bible is the story of God building a family. God is building a family
for Himself that is going to last not just here on earth, but forever and ever
and ever in eternity. It is an eternal
family. You were made to last forever.
God's first purpose for your life is for you to know and to love
God. Now God wants you to begin to focus on His second purpose for your
life. And here it is in I Peter
2:17. Read it with me. "Love the
brotherhood." In other words, “Love your spiritual family.” That's
what God wants you to do. That's the
second purpose of your life. God says I
want you to learn to love the people in your spiritual family which is going to
go on forever.
Now, why does He want us to learn to love them? Well, two or three reasons.
·
First, it makes us more like God, because
God is love.
·
Second, He wants His children to learn to
get along together just like you want your kids to get along with each
other.
·
And number three, its practice for
eternity. One of the things you're going to do in heaven is you're going to
love God. And the other thing you're
going to do is you're going to love the other believers that are there. It is going to be a place of love. So God
says, “I want you to practice now learning to love other believers.”
So would you write this down, “My
second purpose in life is Fellowship.” That’s what I mean when I say Life-Giving
Relationships. That's the word that the Bible uses to describe loving each
other.
The Bible says this in I
We have to love other
believers. Write this down, “Life-Giving Relationships is loving
God's family. How do you do that?
Well, fortunately, the Bible gives us crystal clear instructions.
(1 Timothy 3:14-15) These things I write to you,
though I hope to come to you shortly; but if I am delayed, I write so that you
may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the
church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth. (NKJV)
The church is a family. It
is not a building; it is not an organization; it is not a club. It is a family. A lot of people say, “Well,
I’m going to go to church.” We need to understand church is not just a place you go to. Church is a family you belong to. It's more than a building; it’s more than a
service. It is family that we are to
belong to.
In God's family there are four levels of fellowship. We're going to look at
them in detail. Life-giving relationships is
the second purpose of your life. But
also it is impossible to fulfill all the other purposes God has for your life
without fellowship. You were
not meant to be here on earth alone, to go through life on your own. The fact is we need each other.
The first level of fellowship is Membership: "Choosing to belong,"
making the choice to belong. That's the
most basic level. That means you find a
church family and you choose to get connected to it.
Look at what the Bible has
to say in (Ephesians 2:19) Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers
and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the
household of God, (NKJV)
You belong. The Christian
life is not just a matter of believing.
It is matter of belonging, and you and I must choose to belong. Fellowship begins with
belonging, with making that choice. God
wants you to make the choice to be a part of His family. When you were born, you automatically became
a part of the human race. But you have
to choose to belong to the family of God, the church. It is a choice. It is a membership choice.
Some people say, “Well, I’m a Christian, but I don't want to
belong to any church.” That just doesn't
make sense. The church is where you live out
what it means to be a Christian. That's like saying, “I’m a football player,
but I don't want to be a part of any team.”
It doesn't work. That's like
saying, “I’m a tuba player, but I don't want to be a part of a band.” That's like saying, “I’m a bee, but I don't
want to be a part of a hive”; a soldier without a platoon. A Christian without
a church family is an orphan. God meant
us to be a part of a family.
The Bible tells us this in (Romans 12:5) so we, being
many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. (NKJV)
We belong to every other member.
We are members together. Did you know that this word, membership,
originally was a Christian word? It came
right out of these verses in the Bible.
I know that today it is used for being a member of every kind of club
and signing up for this and joining that.
But originally, the meaning was right here in the Bible; a member of the
Body of Christ. Just like your hand is a
member of your body, that's how tightly we're connected to each other.
Every believer needs to be attached to a group of believers, where
we say, “I want to be a part of what's going on here.” Jesus loves the
church. And you and I need to have the
same kind of love. Jesus calls the
church the “body.” We need to have that same kind of respect for
it, to recognize what it means. What if I said to you “You know, I love you, I
just can't stand your body”? How would
you feel about that? The church is Jesus'
body. He loves the church. The church is
the bride of Christ. What if I said, “I
love you, but I can't stand your wife,” how would you like that?
The church is the bride of Christ. And because Jesus loves the church,
this group of believers that are growing together, you and I need to have that
same kind of love for this body by deciding, choosing to belong.
(1 Corinthians 12:13) For by one Spirit we were all baptized
into one body--whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free--and have all
been made to drink into one Spirit.
(NKJV)
We are made a part of the universal Body of Christ
upon accepting the Lord Jesus as our Savior as the Apostle Paul said in this
verse of Scripture. But how do join this local body of believers? What is the
official act? We take a covenant to officially unite with this local body of
believers. When a man and a woman decide to get married and commit to one
another they stand before the proper authority and take a covenant.
If you are a member of this local church you said “I will” to this
question: Will you sincerely promise in
the presence of God and these witnesses that you will accept this Bible as the
Word of God; believe and practice it’s teachings rightly divided; with the New
Testament as your rule of faith and practice, government and discipline; and
walk in the light to the best of your knowledge and ability?”
By agreeing to that covenant you choose to make a commitment to
this local church, to become a member of this body. There are those of you that
have made the choice to be a part of the family of God but have not made the
commitment to be a member of this church. My prayer is that you make that
commitment.
Now, the first level is choosing to belong. Second level of Life-Giving Relationships is
a little bit deeper—it is learning to share.
I call this “the friendship level.” Learning to share.
You were created in God's image.
So you were made for relationships. Life is not a solo
act. You need friends.
The Bible says this in (Acts 2:44) Now all who
believed were together, and had all things in common, (NKJV)
Notice two things: one, you can't develop friendships without
meeting together; and two, you can't develop friendships without sharing. Now, the more frequently you meet together, the closer you're
going to get. If you have a deep, long
term relationship with another person it is because you chose to. It doesn’t
just happen. It is a choice. You choose
to develop friendships by making time for them.
Do you know why most people are lonely? They don't make time for friendships. They are too busy
achieving; they are too busy working; they are too busy doing other
things. They are not willing to put the
time into it. You have to meet
together. You have to get together. And until you start saying this is going to
be a priority in your life, you're not going to develop any deep friends. They
don't just happen. They happen because you choose to make the time for them. It
is not luck. It is a choice.
Now, those of you who are parents know one of the fundamental
lessons children have to learn is to share. And God says, “In the family of God
I want you to learn to share with other believers.” So what are we supposed to
share? Well, the Bible is full of instructions on things we're to share as
Christians with each other.
Number 1, the Bible says we're to share our experiences. (Proverbs 27:17) As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the
countenance of his friend. (NKJV)
Have you ever heard the
phrase "It’s wise to learn from experience?” Well, it is wiser still to
learn from the experiences of other people, because you don't have time to make
all the mistakes yourself. If everything you learn in life you learn personally
by trial and error, you're going to go through a lot of problems unnecessarily
and about the time you figure it all out, you're dead. You don't have enough time to learn
everything on your own. So God says you can short-circuit and learn a lot
quicker if you learn from the experiences of others.
Nobody knows
everything. You see, we're all ignorant, just on
different subjects. So you know some
things I don't know and I know some things thing you don't know. And the person
next to you knows some things neither of us knows. You can learn from anybody
if you just learn to ask the right questions.
So we're to share our experience with others. Think of all the wealth of
knowledge sitting here in this church family, and how much we could learn from
each other if we just spend the time to get together.
Second, the
Bible says we're to share our homes. In (1 Peter 4:9) Be hospitable to
one another without grumbling. (NKJV) I Peter 4:9
(NCV), "open
up your homes to each other."
It doesn't say if they are really nice ones,
open them up. It just says open them up. Why does God say that? Why are we to
share our homes? I'll tell you why – because you cannot find intimate fellowship
in a crowd. You can only have intimate fellowship one on one. We can worship
together. We can celebrate together. We can learn together. And we can fellowship together. However, the
deeper level of fellowship is done best one on one or in a small group. And
that's why the Bible says open up your homes to each other. That's where you
really get to know people. That’s what our 4th Sunday night that we
call “Friends & Family Night” is all about.
Now, not only do we share our experiences, and our homes, the
Bible says, number three, we're to share our problems. We're not meant to face our problems alone.
(Galatians 6:2) Bear
one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (NKJV) or we are to “share each other’s
troubles and problems.”
Did you know when
you share a joy, it is doubled; and when you share a problem, it is cut in
half? The Bible says, (Romans 12:15) Rejoice with
those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. (NKJV)
Sometimes we are meeting together there is laughter and rejoicing
and sometimes we’re shedding a tear.
Why? Depends on what is going on at
the time. You don't have to fix everybody's problem. God hasn't told you
to do that. It just says share them. This means lend a listening ear. You don't
have to fix the problem. In fact, a lot of times, trying to fix a problem
doesn't help. It’s just sitting there, listening and sharing sympathy and
experience.
That's why the Bible says
this in (Hebrews 10:25) not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as
is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you
see the Day approaching. (NKJV)
The third level is
Partnership. Partnership is simply
doing my part. Partnership is realizing that I’ve got a
contribution to make; that the family of God needs me. Listen, God did not
bring you here to sit and soak in some spiritual spa. That's not why you're here. He brought you here to serve. He wants to make a difference through your
life. In every family there are family responsibilities. You divide up the chores,
being part of that family means you do your part, and you do your part, and you
do your part. This is a Christian family, God's family. And every one of us has a part.
The Bible is filled with the fact that you and I are to work with
one another in getting this job done. There are 58 times in the New Testament
the Bible says we do something for one another. We serve one another. We love
one another. We pray with one another. The Bible even says we have to put up
with one another when we're doing all of this.
That's how it works together. This is love in action. Not just in words.
It is great to share your heart, that's
level two. But it is even greater to do your part. That is what level three is
all about.
Listen to
what the Bible has to say (1 Corinthians 3:9) For we are God's fellow workers;
you are God's field, you are God's building.
(NKJV)
Notice the word “God’s
fellow workers.” We're partners working together for God. In Greek, the language the New Testament was
originally written in, the word "fellowship" is often translated
“partnership.” That's how close these
two words are. You're part of the
greatest team there ever was in the church. What we do is going to last forever.
In the church, we are part of the greatest enterprise that's ever existed. We get to be part of God's plan for the
universe. That's what it is all about, when we cooperate and participate
together in the family of God.
But in order to be a part,
you've got to find your niche, you have to determine, “Where do I fit, how I do
I fit?” The Bible
tells us we all have a niche. Look what (Ephesians 4:16) The whole Body is fitted together
perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts
grow, so that the whole Body is healthy and growing and full of love.” (NLT)
You might notice those words "each
part." That's you and that's me.
We are a part of God's body. And
it is working together that we get things done. You have a part to play in the
Body of Christ. And when we cooperate, we get more done together than we could
ever get done by ourselves. There is an attitude, a heart attitude that is key
to me, to you, to all of us, that we're doing it for Jesus Christ.
Mother Teresa spent her life working, as many of you know, with
the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, India. And she was once asked, "How
do you handle all the death and disease on a daily basis? How do you do the
tough things when it comes to serving?" And her answer was, “Every person
I bathe, every person I bandage, I imagine seeing the face of Jesus and I do it
for Him.” That's the attitude that's you and I need.
It’s the attitude of (Matthew
25:40) "And the King will answer and say to them,
'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these
My brethren, you did it to Me.' (NKJV)
So I encourage you to make this a practical action step this week,
if you want to experience a deeper level of fellowship. Look for a practical
need to meet this next week, just some practical thing, and watch what it does
for your relationship and your fellowship with one another.
Level 4: Kinship the
deepest level of fellowship; it loves believers like family.
You're completely committed to them. Now, kinship is an old term. Kinship
literally means your closest relationships—your closest family. When somebody
has an accident, they say, “Notify the next-of-kin”, and they don't mean go
find Aunt Ethyl. They mean you find the person they care most about, the person
who is closest to them, the one they hold most dear. And the Bible says that's
the kind of attitude we should have.
(Acts 2:42) And they continued steadfastly in the
apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in
prayers. (NKJV)
(Romans 12:10) Be kindly affectionate to one
another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; (NKJV)
This literally means being as committed to each other as we are to
Jesus Christ; that is the deepest level of fellowship. That is family relationship. That is kinship.
That is saying I’m willing to sacrifice for you. Many of you know
It says (1 John 3:16) By this we know love, because He laid down
His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. (NKJV)
This is the deepest level of
fellowship; sacrificing for each other. It's the kind of love Jesus
Christ had for you. He died for you.
The Bible talks about the fellowship of suffering. And, frankly, here in America, we Christians
know little about this level of fellowship. Overseas a lot of Christians do,
because they are being persecuted. Did you know that all around the world,
millions of Christians each year lose their lives just for being
believers? Over ten million Christians
die every year, mostly in either communist or Muslim countries, simply for
being Christians. And so we come to this verse, and people in other places can
take it literally. They are literally laying down their lives. “I’ll take a
bullet for you. I'm going to protect you.” They are laying down their lives for
each other, as brothers and sisters in the family of God. Now, we're not
persecuted like that here in America, so it is hard for us to experience this deepest
level of fellowship where you're actually giving your life for a brother or
sister in the family of God.
So how do we do that? How do we get to this deepest level in
America? We do it by standing with other
believers when they are going through a crisis. When everybody else walks out,
you walk in; you're there for them in the tough times. This is what life is all
about, loving God and learning to love each other. If you miss this, you have missed the purpose
of your life.
Life is not about accomplishments.
It is about relationships.
You were put on this earth
to know God and love Him, and to know His family and love them, because that's
whom we're spending eternity with. As a
pastor, I have been at the bedside of a number of people as they were
dying. In all of those situations where
I’ve been there at the side as people were taking their last breath, I have
never once had anybody say, “Bring me my diplomas. I want them close to me.”
Nobody says, “Bring me my trophies.” Nobody says, "Bring me the gold watch
I got at retirement." Nobody says,
"Bring me my Blackberry." It
is in those final moments they talk about what matters most; our relationship
with God and our relationship with family and friends.
Loving God, that's called “Worship,” and loving each other, that's
called “Fellowship.”
(John 13:35) "By this all will know that you
are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (NKJV)
How do you know if you're in God's family? How do you know personally? Let me read you three verses that will test
if you're really a Christian or not. Listen to this, right from the Bible.
(1 John 3:10) In this
the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does
not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his
brother. (NKJV)
(1 John 4:20) If
someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for
he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he
has not seen? (NKJV)
(1 John 3:14) We know
that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who
does not love his brother abides in death.
(NKJV)
The greatest privilege you will ever be offered in life is a
privilege of being a part of God's family.
You see, God's family is a laboratory for learning to love. Some of you grew up in homes that didn't have
a lot of love. In the church we learn to
love real people—warts, failures and all.
So let me ask you a couple relevant questions: which of these levels of fellowship are you
at? Have you even made it to the first
one, choosing to belong? There are some of you that in a sense you have
chosen this church family but you have never taken the step to official join
the church. You need to make that commitment. You need to take that step. That's
the most basic level. If you haven't done that, that's your next step.
Then you need to learn to
share. And where do you do that?
One on one and in small groups. Since our church is relatively small
there is some sharing that goes on in our services but it happens best in a
Sunday School class and in our Wednesday evening services.
Then you need to not just share your heart, you need to do your part. That's
partnership. Find your
niche. Find your place to give back, to
make a contribution. If you're in the
family of God, you have some family responsibilities. God expects you to do your part in the
family. You don't just slide along while
everybody else does their part.
Then you move to this
deepest level.
Are there any other believers that know you are devoted to them? That
you're going to be there for them in their crisis?
The most basic question of all is, are you a part of the family of
God? You say, “Well, isn't everybody a
part of the family of God?” No. Everybody
is created by God, but not everybody is a child of God. You have to choose to be a part of God's
family. You must choose to be a Christian and follow Jesus Christ.
God gave us one condition,
For ye are all the children of
God by faith in Christ Jesus.
(Galatians 3:26 KJV)